Lazy Sundays were our favorite. We used to sleep in, go to breakfast at Jims, come back and take a nap and catch up on tv. No matter what it was, we were right there together. You’d always tell me that you’d sleep better if I took a nap with you, and I always laughed at you and told you that I wasn’t tired. I’d lay down anyway, and you’d curl up around me and you’d be snoring so fast it would make me laugh. I’d close my eyes and I wasn’t far behind you. I always slept better with you near me. How I long for sleep. Really good sleep, longer than 2 hours at a time sleep. That hasn’t happened in months. I lie to myself and those around me all the time telling them that I’m doing ok, when the reality is I just want to sleep. I still sleep with the dimmed lights on and the tv on, because I can’t bare the quiet loneliness without you. Sometimes you come to me in my dreams, and those are a crap shoot as to whether you help me sleep or I wake up in a panic attack. I wear your shir
Ry I lost you way too soon, and our lives were just getting started. We had so many ups and downs and a lifetime of memories in our short 880 days together. I remember the days after the event, doubting myself and my impact on you. I would over analyze the littlest things that had happened to try and prove to myself a definitive answer to the question, “did I make you happy?” I wanted to know that because of me, your life was better. I would ask my best friend repeatedly to give me facts to prove that I made you happy. My head agreed, my heart wasn’t sure. She’d remind me how much you loved to call me “woman” in public. How proud you were to say that I was yours. How could you trust me with your kids, your baby girls, if I didn’t make you immensely happy. At the time I wished that I could just 100% believe it. Tonight I got the answer that finally convinced me. Your mom called me, and it was just a regular phone call and we were laughing and talking, and out of nowhere s